Domestic abuse

You don't have to go through domestic abuse alone - help is available

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Domestic abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of their age, gender, disability, ethnicity or sexual orientation. It takes many different forms, but no one deserves to suffer mistreatment from a partner or family member.

If you are experiencing domestic violence, emotional abuse, controlling behaviour or any other form of abuse at home, please know you are not at fault and there are compassionate people and resources to support you. Approximately 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men will face domestic abuse, so you are not alone in this difficult situation.

Find out more below about what to do and where to find help if you or someone you know is experiencing abuse. 

What is domestic abuse?

If someone aged 16 or over abuses a current or ex partner or relative who is also aged 16 or over, that is domestic abuse – even if they don’t live with them. Domestic abuse can happen anywhere – inside your home, elsewhere or online.

Please click on each word below to find out what this may look like:

Coercive Control
This can look like (but is not limited to):
- Monitoring your texts, calls and whereabouts.
- Repeatedly putting you down, calling you names and making you feel worthless.
- Controlling your finances and how much you can spend.
- Threatening to hurt you, your family members, friends or pets.
- Threatening to harm themselves if you leave them.
- Isolating you from family and friends.
- Stopping you from working or force you to work more.
- Damaging your things or make threats to damage them.
- Threatening to share sexual images or videos of you.
Psychological and/or emotional abuse
This can look like (but is not limited to):
- Putting you down in front of other people.
- Calling you names.
- Playing mind games.
- Gaslighting.
- Ignoring you/silent treatment.
- Telling you that you're not the father of the children.
Physical abuse
This can look like (but is not limited to):
- Hitting, punching, slapping, and kicking.
- Throwing objects at you.
- Attacking you with objects.
- Pouring boiling water on you.
- Hurting you when you are asleep.
Sexual abuse
This can look like (but is not limited to):
- Rape (which can also occur within marriages).
- Pressure into having sex (eg.“I’ll get it from somewhere else”).
- Forced sexual acts.
- Forced to watch pornography.
- Forced into having sex with perpetrator's friends.
- Forced into prostitution.
- Pressure into having unprotected sex.
Financial or economic abuse
This can look like (but is not limited to):
- Stopping you from working or limit hours.
- Taking your pay or benefits.
- Not allowing you to access a bank account.
- Controlling how you spend money.
- Saying they are paying your bills, and not paying them.
- Making you justify what you are spending your money on.
- Controlling all finances and making you ask for money.
- Stealing your money.
- Building up debt in your name, perhaps even without you knowing.
- Making you take out money in your name for them.
- Insisting you put their name on your assets or savings.
- Insisting all bills, credit cards and loans are in your name and making you pay for them.
Harassment and stalking
This can look like (but is not limited to):
- Frequently calling at the victim’s home or workplace.
- Driving past the victim’s home or workplace.
- Following the victim.
- Frequently making contact such as sending letters, text messages, emails or through social media sites like Facebook or Snapchat.
- Asking children to ‘spy’ on you.
- Sending unwanted gifts.
- Sending malicious ‘gifts’, such as funeral wreathes or to mark a distressing event for the victim, such as sending flowers on the anniversary of assault.
- Gathering information on the victim by contacting people who know them or by using public records.
Online abuse
This can look like (but is not limited to):
- Monitoring your social media profiles.
- Monitoring or controlling your emails.
- Changing your passwords so you do not have access to your online accounts.
- Abuse over social media.
- Sharing intimate photos or videos without your consent.
- Using GPS locators or spyware.
Honour based violence

Honour based violence, including ‘honour killings’, is a type of abuse that is carried out in communities that have strong perceptions of ‘honour’ and ‘shame’. Individuals may be seen to bring shame onto the family if they behave, or it is rumoured that they have behaved, in a way which the family or community disapproves of, this can result in honour based violence. This may include having a ‘non-arranged’ relationship, having a relationship with someone of a different faith, dressing inappropriately, refusing an arranged marriage, leaving a marriage or being gay. Acting on this in a violent manner is honour based violence.

The concept of honour and shame leads families to perpetrate honour based violence such as keeping victims locked in the house, sending them abroad, forced marriage, assaults and ultimately murdering them – which is called honour killing. Speaking out against honour based violence is extremely difficult as the perpetrators are more often than not the victim’s extended family and loved ones, who they do not wish to feel the force of the law.
FGM (Female Genital Mutilation)

Female genital mutilation (FGM) is a procedure where the female genitals are deliberately cut, injured or changed, but there's no medical reason for this to be done. It's also known as female circumcision or cutting, and by other terms, such as Sunna, gudniin, halalays, tahur, megrez and khitan, among others.

FGM is usually carried out on young girls between infancy and the age of 15, most commonly before puberty starts. It's illegal in the UK and is abuse. It's very painful and can seriously harm the health of women and girls. It can also cause long-term problems with sex, childbirth and mental health.
Forced marriages

A forced marriage is a marriage which takes place without the consent of either the bride or groom. This should not be confused with an arranged marriage, when both parties are given a choice and freely give their consent.

Forced marriage is often misunderstood to be an acceptable side of tradition and culture. It is a violation of human rights and is a form of domestic abuse. Victims of forced marriage may be tricked into going abroad and then have their passport taken away until they have participated in a marriage, or they may be threatened with physical violence or emotionally blackmailed into marriage.

As well as those who simply do not want to marry the other person, forced marriages include children who are below the age of legal marriage in the UK and lesbian and gay people who do not want to marry someone of the opposite sex.

Our Commitment

To show our ongoing commitment to supporting any of our customers or colleagues who are affected by domestic abuse, we’ve signed the ‘Make a Stand’ Pledge that was launched in June 2018 by the Chartered Institute of Housing, in partnership with Women’s Aid and the Domestic Abuse Housing Alliance (DAHA), and we're also DAHA Accreditation members. This means that we’ve committed to:

Put in place and embed a policy to support customers who are affected by domestic abuse.
Make information about national and local domestic abuse support services available on our website and in other appropriate places so that they are easily accessible for customers and colleagues.
Put in place a policy to support colleagues who are affected by domestic abuse.
Appoint a champion at a senior level in our organisation to own what we’re doing to support people experiencing domestic abuse.